The 1968 Pulp Fiction classic Planet of the Apes has always been one of my all-time favorite movies.
Charlton Heston is the man, passionately defying his torture and degradation at the hands of the tyrannical simians of “Ape City”!
The way he screams his famous line at the end is to me not a symbol of defeat.
Instead, I see it as a symbol of continual agnostic struggle in the face of overwhelming odds, a true Spiritual Victory of the unquenchable fiery spirit of the Indo-European Warrior Caste.
That old Ape City Chieftain Dr. Zaius really was right when he said Charlton Heston was riding out to find his destiny.
Now I never thought I’d be living Planet of the Apes as Charlton Heston…
But that’s exactly what I did!
That’s because in BJJ, everything is backwards…backwards like the world where Apes rule Man!
And I was Charlton Heston, getting tortured and screaming “It’s a madhouse!” every minute!
Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it all…
On the “Planet of BJJ”!
FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE
I would have never come to this realization if I had not come across Jake Shanon’s groundbreaking new book, Modern Catch-As-Catch-Can: The Sport of Professional Wrestling.
You see, author Jake Shannon is the man who, through his illustrious organization Scientific Wresting, has single-handedly brought back that Anglo-American Expression of the Ancient Indo-European Grappling Art from beyond the grave…
Catch Wrestling!
And in his book, he lays out the standards for this most Noble of Grappling Arts.
These “6 Coaching Standards of CACC” are:
Standing
- Stance, Motion, Circle Trail Leg
- Hand-Fighting and Ties
- Set-Ups and Takedowns
On Top
- Positional Rides and Transitions
- Pins and Submissions
Tools & Tricks
- Escapes and Reversals
THE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPE
How does this system differ from the backwards world of “Planet of BJJ”
A heckuva lot, in my experience!
And understanding how is the only way to escape…
Escape from the “Planet of BJJ”!
POSSUM YOUR WAY TO DEFEAT!
On the “Planet of BJJ”, you’re taught “Escapes and Reversals” first…but you are taught them ineffectively!
The focus on Shrimping, which Jake Shannon describes as “basically like the fetal position” is compounded upon by very poor quality Hip Bridges…
Not the tough neck kind taught by Tom Billinge and Matt Furey and known to even Middle School level wrestlers everywhere (much less the big dogs of Iowa State)!
I mean, Hip Bridges are great for many things…but when somebody is lying on your hips, they don’t do you any good for escaping!
And upper body horizontal pushing strength to actually help liberate yourself from having your hips controlled is totally ignored!
But that’s not all the backwards nonsense that takes place on the “Planet of BJJ”!
Not by a long shot!
NON-STOP NOVELTY AND THE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
On the “Planet of BJJ”, your backwards progression climbs “Submissions”…
Ah! Those sexy submissions!
On the “Planet of BJJ”, everybody is submission crazy. People collect submissions like trading cards…how many you have or have heard of is all anybody cares about.
Training to be excellent at a handful of killer moves is ignored in favor of an ADHD-like driven need for a social media style non-stop novelty.
Their dirty little secret?
The Overlords of the “Planet of BJJ” steal their best submissions from Catch Wrestling and rename them, claiming them as their own!
And of course, this is all trained in violation of BJJ’s supposed famous commandment, “Position Before Submission”!
But when we finally get to “Positional Rides and Transitions”…all we end up learning is Guard and it’s little brother ½ Guard.
However, it just takes a Wrestler to prove the ineffectiveness of this doctrine pretty quick…
Or a Catch Wrestler for that matter!
FROM THE WESTERN FRONT TO THE MAGINOT LINE
Finally, when it comes to the “Standing” section…nothing is taught at all!
No Stance. No Motion.
What the heck even is a Trail Leg?
And how do you Circle it?
Forget Hand-Fighting. Forget Ties.
And Set-Ups and Takedowns?
No, just sit on your butt and go to Guard!
Really, that’s what they teach! The entire initiative of the fight is ceded to the enemy in a defensive-minded doctrine built around Guard.
But whether it was the Germans on the Western Front in WWI, or the French at the Maginot Line in WWII, nobody ever won a war on the defense!
Just ask Josh Barnett and Ryron Gracie!
ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF BJJ!
Well, there you have it!
The world turned rightside up again.
Your escape from “Planet of BJJ” is complete!
And you can thank Jake Shannon and his landmark Scientific Wrestling system for the safe passage!
Grab his groundbreaking book Modern Catch-As-Catch-Can: The Sport of Professional Wrestling today…
And Escape from the “Planet of BJJ”!
Pulp Fiction Power to you, my friends!
Sincerely,
Richard Barrett
03-28-2023
Written at 7:22 PM in a Starbucks Parking Lot after they threw me out somewhere in the USA…
PULP FICTION RENAISSANCE 